It's been a long time since I've written. I don't know why but I just haven't been able to write until now. Sunday night I was so bummed feeling like AF was about to show up. It's been 6 months of ttc and I was worried and terribly anxious. These 2ww have been really taking their toll. We had scheduled an appointment with the fertility doctor for Nov. 29. Then my mom was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and the surgery was scheduled 7 hours from here in Spokane, on Nov. 29. So I stewed all night long about what to do, since if I rescheduled the fertility doctor then we'd be into January where our $700 deductible would start over. I'm 38 years old and every month I wait to do anything could be detrimental. I really wanted to be their for my mom but the stakes were getting high. I thought for sure AF would be here in the morning but if it wasn't I planned to pee on a stick.
Monday we woke up, my son peeked out the front room window to see snow falling so beautifully. What an exciting time for him, his first snow of the year. I got the Clear Blue Easy stick out, the digital kind. I was thinking it was pointless to check, because I was sure AF would be here. I didn't even pay much attention losing interest knowing that it would take 3 minutes for the results. After distractedly reading facebook updates, I peered over to the stick and I couldn't believe my eyes. It said "pregnant!!!!!" Wooha!! I started shaking. I couldn't believe my eyes.
First phone call to my husband, he was at work and couldn't say much besides "congratulations" which probably also gave it away to his coworkers.
I can't tell you how excited I am. It's not like I wasn't excited when I saw the results for Gavin and Gracie but I was also semi not ready for either of those pregnancies. I feel more ready than ever to be pregnant again and I'm loving this. And I so pray that Gavin's next sibling will be here to stay a while.
So because we found out for the first snow of the year. She/He will be nicknamed Snowflake until we know whether it's a boy or a girl and yes we will be finding out this time.
I know the truth is 25% will end in miscarriage. So many of your stories of loss including my own have flashed through my mind since I saw the result. But I'm going to follow the example of all of the other BLM's who went on to have their rainbows. Enjoying every moment because who knows when the last moment will be.
The plan is to not tell anyone but my BLM's and t18/13 family until the ultrascreen results come at around week 12. Gosh I just feel like telling everybody though so who knows if I can wait that long. You'll know when I post to everyone on facebook not just my BLM's and t18/13 family. Please let me know if you'd rather not hear any new baby updates and I can block you from those posts on facebook. I really do understand because I've had many days where it was soooo painful to hear of another new pregnancy.
But I just had to tell you all, because I can and would love to have as many prayers go up and postive thoughts. Thank you all for your wonderful love and support.
My BB gave me this quote this morning. What would I do without her:
"Do not look forward to what might happen tomorrow; the same Everlasting Father who cares for you today, will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginings." St Francis de Salles
Snowflake will hopefully be born healthy and safe on around Aug. 1.
At 26 1/2 weeks pregnant I noticed that our baby Gracie wasn't kicking. Her heart wasn't beating anymore and she went on to be with Jesus in heaven. She came December 10, 2009, already in heaven. Then January 2, 2011, at 10 weeks, we lost Snowflake to a miscarriage.