Sunday, January 9, 2011

Letting Why Go

For the last year I have spent a lot of time, energy, bitterness and anger on why did God allow us to lose our daughter and why didn't he miraculously save her. I have spent a lot of energy feeling sorry for myself and have felt very jealous of people who have never seen this pain. And it has gotten me no where. I think I'm letting why go. Mainly because it's such a dead end with no real answers. I used to believe that one day we would find out why God allowed Gracie to die and once I found out it would all make since and I'd be able to accept it.

I just read Michelle's post about living with a hole in your heart and deciding to live "holeheartedly" misspelling intended. It was very inspiring and I don't want to loose sight of it. So I figure writing about it here will give me the reminder when I need it. I may not find out why this side of heaven but I don't have to let not knowing why keep me from allowing God to do what he has planned for me today.

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